Children’s Therapy

Let’s talk about what children’s therapy actually looks like…

I use a multi-modal approach when working with children. I don’t have a one size fits all treatment plan.

The most important part to the treatment of children is to give them some choice in the room. So, some days, your child might want to talk; other days, we will talk while playing a game; and, at other times, we will break out the art supplies and let them explore their feelings through art. They get to decide what happens.

We will sometimes use worksheets that help them explore their feelings and teach them what to do when these feelings come up for them. They will learn how to ask for what they need in a way that’s not combative or demanding.

Together, we will help them understand that they are wonderful and unique.

I will also use EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) when necessary to help your child process any traumatic events or situations. EMDR is one of the best treatments for treating trauma.

It’s a power tool that helps the memory feel distant and far away, so it no longer has the same power. Your child will be given tappers that vibrate in their hands, going back and forth. As they hold the tappers, they will either close their eyes and recall the memory or they will talk through the memory out loud. It will feel like their brain is telling a story, going from one memory to another.

The brain is amazing. It stores memories that we thought we forgot, but sometimes those memories are so deeply buried we don’t know they’re in there.

What does that look like for your child? Your child experienced a trauma; as a result, they are stuck in the trauma or the negative belief about the trauma. They can’t remember what happened after. They don’t remember surviving, getting away, feeling safe. They just know they were in danger. As we process their memory, these memories start to come back. They can see the whole story, not just the traumatic parts. When this happens, their brain can reprocess the memory so that it no longer causes triggers that lead to anxiety, depression, and angry outbursts.

Here are some of the things we’ll accomplish together…

I will help your child understand his or her emotions and behaviors. We will explore the reasons they get so upset. They will begin to understand what is happening inside of them that causes an explosion of anger, hurt, sadness, and fear, that results in major meltdowns and tantrums.

I’ll teach them tools to manage negative mood states and help them discover healthy communication, so they can more effectively get their needs met (in lieu of angry outbursts). These tools include developing their emotional language (hurt, sad, frustrated, afraid), so they can communicate them instead of resorting to anger.

They will learn deep breathing techniques that can reduce anxiety and anger. Together, we will explore their triggers, so they understand what is causing them to be upset and helping them learn to understand the negative thoughts that are impacting their feelings.

As the parent, I will help you discover parenting skills…

… that are attachment-oriented to help you find connection with your child even when they are having a difficult time.

Attachment-oriented parenting stops the tug of war and the disconnection that results from typical arguing. You’ll learn skills like asking for a compromise, the power of offering two choices, the use of “time-ins” and not “time outs,” the power of gentle touch when your child is upset, the use of weighted blankets for mood stabilization when they are feeling really upset and out of control, and other tools that allow you and your child to communicate better and end the constant cycle of arguing.

By implementing these techniques, you and your child will be on the same team. Your child will learn how to express what they need when they are upset, and you will understand how to help them. That’s the power of attachment-oriented therapy. It’s not about rewards and consequences; it’s about connection and communication. It’s powerful and it works.

You are the parent, so you’ll be key part to their treatment and healing.

In the beginning of treatment, there will be times where I will be meeting with the child and the parents separately, but my ultimate goal is to bring the family together for some family work. It’s important that your child feel safe in the room. That they have a place where they can express their feelings without me “telling on them” after the session.

Eventually, I will meet with you before or after the session for just a few minutes to check-in with my client’s progress at home. At other times, I will meet with you alone to discuss new parenting skills that will help you and your child get out of the tug of war that you’ve been experiencing for so long.

You will be an important key to your child’s healing. Because of this, my goal is to bring the family together for family counseling as soon as possible. During family counseling, your child will be able to practice the communication skills they’ve learned in the safety of the therapeutic environment. They may want to play a game, talk, or draw together.

They will be encouraged to express their fears, hurts, and sadness with you so that you can understand what your child’s experiences have been. I will also help your child learn to listen to you, hear your heart, your love, and your strong desire to be there for them and to help them, so you can develop a stronger bond and better communication.