Couples Therapy
“A perfect relationship is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.”
–Unknown Author
Relationships can be hard, but this is something different.
There are moments you remember why your partner means so much to you. But then… there are the other times.
Have you found yourself saying (or wanting to say) to or about your partner:
You feel like a roommate – like my best friend – but I miss my intimate partner.
We never have any fun together. We used to have so much fun and had so many things in common.
What happened to our relationship? All we ever do is fight.
We can’t communicate about anything. Even the smallest disagreements turn into big fights.
Nothing ever gets resolved. After an argument, the discussion gets swept under the rug, until our next disagreement. It feels like we’re going in circles.
We go days without talking to each other or spending time together. I don’t’ know why.
You’re my best friend, and I love you – but I’m not sure I’m IN LOVE with you.
It’s hard. I know.
You live with constant doubt about the relationship.
Some days it feels hopeless.
You wonder if it’s worth fighting for.
Will we make it? Is divorce the best option?
You love your spouse, but you’re not sure if you’re going to make it. You’re tired of the fighting; the constant arguing is getting on your nerves. It’s exhausting.
You can’t figure out why this is happening. You were best friends. You laughed and played together. Now you’re not sure you want to come home after work, because you’re not sure what will happen when you get there.
You love each other, but you’re not sure you’re still in love. You miss your best friend, and you just want to get them back.
It’s not too late. You can rewrite the story of your marriage.
I know it can be a little scary to come into therapy.
You wonder if it will work.
Will the therapist choose a side? Will they hear my partner’s side of the story and judge me?
These are all valid concerns. When you come into my office, you will feel accepted and not judged. I take the time in session to listen both of you so that you both feel heard and understood.
And don’t worry. I know how to referee fights so that you can feel safe even in your anger. It’s ok. I completely understand that you have been fighting for years. I can handle it.
You’re safe with me.
Therapy can help you emotionally reconnect in a safe environment.
Emotionally Focused Therapy is what we’ll use. This therapy is based on helping the two of you learn to express your needs in a way that your needs can be met.
“What does that look like?” you ask.
Well, a good example is when you and your partner are arguing because, “YOU NEVER SPEND ANY TIME WITH ME!!” Your partner responds with, “What are you talking about?” and the argument begins. Round and round you go.
What are you actually fighting about? You’re fighting because you miss spending time with your partner; that’s your need.
My goal in therapy is to help you understand your negative communication cycle, your unmet needs and longings that are leading to the fights, and help express those needs in healthier ways. I take the time to listen to both of your needs by going back and forth between you, slowing you down, helping you express your needs to your partner in a way that you can be understood and your partner can meet that need.
I will be there to help you learn how to resolve the fight in a way that feels good to both of you. After the session, you will be able to take what you learn in session and bring it into your home so that the fighting will happen less.
The best part, once you slow down the arguing, you’ll start to feel more connected to your partner again, intimacy will return, and you’ll start to have fun. You will begin to play again, laugh again, and enjoy each other again.
You can heal… and it’s never too late.
All it takes is one phone call to rewrite your story.
Call today for your free 30-minute consultation. During the consultation, you can ask me questions, get to know me, and together we will determine if I am the right fit for both of you.
Call today to begin your journey toward a healthy and happy relationship: (619) 352-0486.